The Unstoppable Iron Mike

Samuel Reason | December 10th, 2017

If you thought Iron Man was indestructible wait until you hear about Michael Malloy or Mike The Durable as his friends liked to call him.

Malloy was a firefighter who lives in New York City during the 1920s but by 1933 he was homeless and had fallen deep into the clutches of alcoholism. You see he was a regular at all the lower class bars of New York’s Bronx – up until they refused him any more credit. Yet Malloy deep in the clutches of alcoholism would still turn up at Marino’s speakeasy(the illicit bars of the prohibition era.) and with his Irish charm, he was able to scrounge a few drinks off the richer customers.

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Unfortunately for Malloy, it was in this speakeasy he became acquainted with the 5 members of the infamous “Murder Trust” – who made money off illegal and fraudulent insurance claims. The five men took out several life insurance policies on him. How they did it was never discovered, but the theory was a corrupt insurance agent who wanted to make some hefty commissions. In fact, they were able to claim Malloy was only 45 when he was actually nearer 60.

Marino, one of the Murder Trust members, unhatched his plan and gave Malloy unlimited credit in his bar. The gang believed that after years of alcoholism Malloy would surely drink himself to death in no time at all! A week passed and Malloy faithfully turned up at noon everyday drinking himself into a senseless state. This was not going as planned for the gang, it was a gloomy January depression: business was bad and they needed the cash.

They started to put antifreeze in his whiskey, then they moved on to turpentine, then they tried huge doses of horse tranquilizer and eventually they even tried rat poison. But no substance, no matter how toxic would kill Malloy. They moved on to food and attempted to poison him with raw oysters dipped in wood alcohol and a rotten sardine sandwich filled with small nails! Nothing would keep Mike The Durable down though, every day he would turn up and just keep happily drinking away.

He passed out drunk one night so the gang decided to throw him outside in the snow during temperatures of -14.8 °F and even poured 20 liters of water on his naked chest. Still, old Mike woke up and returned to the bar! Next, the group ran him over with a car at 45 MPH, all this did be land Mike in a hospital for a few weeks with a couple of broken bones.

Ultimately though the gang did succeed in murdering Mike, his luck ran out when they decided to pump him full of gas after passing out drunk. However, tales of Malloy’s durability were traveling around all the speakeasies of New York, he was an urban legend, causing the police to investigate.

The Murder Trust gang was later convicted of the murder and all of them received the death penalty.

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